100 results for tag: Manhood


On Men and the Need to be Loved

(For Savage) Men today are starved for both acceptance and affection when they are young.  We might get some love and compassion from our parents, but the moment we turn five, we are sent off to school to be minded by women who have only their own sense of duty to help them relate to us.  There are a few great teachers out there, to be sure, and we are fortunate when we get them.  But most teachers who taught men of our age worked with a  mix of traditional urges to toughen us up, and a quasi-religious belief that boys had to be held back for girls to prosper. And school trains us to struggle for approval of other people constantly.  Please ...

The Positive Masculine ep. 28: Understanding Fatherhood

On the role of fathers, why they are so important, and what it takes to be a good father. Why some fathers can seem cold or critical of their children.

Rough Dads: Why is he so Mean? (pt. 1)

There's one set of terms that keep coming up as ones that have brought people to my blog, even thogh it is not a topic that I have specifically addressed.  Why are some fathers so mean to their children? Especially when it comes to their sons?  For the readers who have come here looking for help in father / son relationships, I am going to do a two-part post on the topic.  The first will talk about why fathering is a very different role than mothering, and demands a different approach, The second will give you some strategies to help men who have difficulty balancing the hardness that fathering requires with love and compassion. Keep in mind ...

It Really Is That Simple

One of the things that I have learned in coaching Men is that we are gifted at making things complicated.  Often far more than they need to be. This is especially true when I am trying to help men approach relationship or work problems.  Whenever we explore a solution to a problem, my clients become suddenly prophetic - they predict every possible thing that can go wrong.  Including arguments they may never have, responses from loved ones that they cannot possibly know, bad impressions that may never happen, and terrible revelations that forever ruin their hope for the future, on and on, ad nauseam.  And I am not even talking about anxious ...

The Positive Masculine ep.24: The Inner Wild Man

Within every man there is a solid core of energy, a style of communication, and an intense drive. Each man's individual inner self is slightly unique, but each arises from the basic nature of the masculine body, is inspired by the man's unique experiences and interests, and deeply informed by his social context. Happiness and healthiness comes from being as in tune as possible with that inner self. Bad information, trauma, destructive learning, and self-defeating beliefs tend to distort our relationship with the wild man. Bringing him out is a process of un-learning the lessons of our youth and refusing to accept anyone's description of the world ...

Sacred Cows and Questioning Boldly

I am currently reading several complex works on the nature of epistemology (how we know things) and discourse, something I haven't done seriously since I was twenty.  I have changed so much since then. Recently I have been repeatedly shocked and appalled by the sheer Intellectual Dishonesty that has seeped into our culture.  Like thieves in the night, pundits faux-intellectuals, and political special interests have crept in and dismantled the most critical ideals of our culture.  Sometimes it seems as though we have lost the power of free discourse. In the world after David Hume, we have been forced to accept that certainty is impossible ...